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  • Writer's pictureAnna Honeysett

learning to be a Human 'being' not a Human 'doing'

Over Christmas there is that lovely gap (for those of us who get the holiday) between Boxing day and New Years day. Everything feels quiet, you have so much food in the house you don't need to go out and other than sales shopping most businesses comes to a grinding halt.

What I discovered this year (having been exceptionally busy in the months approaching Christmas) was that I didn't seem to know how to just stop 'doing' and begin 'being'. On further reflection I realized that the 'doing' had been holding me together, a coping mechanism that I didn't even realise I had acquired!

How are you at 'being?' I mean, its in our title as living creatures, but in my experience its not something we appear to be very good at. Many blame this shift in western culture on social media and the constant stimulation available at the touch of a button. Some may look to the pace of life and the busyness of working, family, money pressures etc etc, I don't necessarily have the answer but I am finding myself asking the question.

One of the key things about therapy is the space that clients enjoy in the counselling room, no noise, no phone, no distractions- just you and a witness. I often notice the battle in clients minds of really wanting to just 'be' but then the fear of the feelings that may rise in this space becomes evident and they kickstart the unconscious process of squashing them down once again. 'Being' can often be scary because there are no defences in play, people are exposed to themselves which often they don't like very much.

If you are the sort of person who's life is constantly filled up with 'doing' and has little room for 'being' maybe it would be helpful to ask yourself what you might be avoiding? What the busyness is filling and how it would be for you to make time for yourself to stop. Now I am not the kind of person to sit in a meditative state or waft through life,(its just not in my character) but I do need to allow myself to 'be' more. Whether thats sitting with my thoughts and not going on Instagram, or going for a walk with nothing but myself. What ever it looks like for you maybe dare to give it a go. I'm certainly going to!

Often counselling is considered by people as only appropriate if you have experienced a big life trauma or shift, on the country counselling is for all- and its o.k to need the space.

If counselling is something you have been considering but are unsure if it is right option for you then please get in touch for an informal chat.

For more information about Honeysett Counselling please see my website or call 07889026560

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