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  • Writer's pictureAnna Honeysett

Experiencing our Pain

The best part about writing my blogs for me is getting to chose a picture to accompany each subject I write about (my creative brain in action!). Now you might be thinking 'why on earth is the title about experiencing pain and you have chosen a picture of diamonds?' Bare with me... Here are some interesting facts about how diamonds are formed

1.From the earth did you know that diamonds formed under extreme temperatures and pressures?

2.The temp has to be 1700 – 2400 degrees Fahrenheit

3.The pressure has to be 650,000 – 870,000 pounds per square inch. All of this takes place 90-120 miles beneath the surface of the earth.

I love diamonds and reading about them I was amazed at how much they go through in order to be formed, let alone being found, cut, polished and set! In my experience things that are worth something often come from a place of hard work or pain. As a counsellor I deal with peoples pain on a daily basis and I can honestly say that sometimes all I want to do is make their pain disappear! But I can't, what I can do is be with them in their pain and encourage them on in life's journey.

We all experience pain and the first thing we want to do is run away from it, stop it, numb it or one which is my 'go to' is to ignore it! The problem is the more we avoid our pain the stronger it will likely become. Now welcoming real pain might be a stretch too far for most of us but certainly exploring your pain can lead to freedom and peace that you didn't expect. I like to think of us as all rough diamonds and that through the pressures and pains of life we grow, learn and become more equipped to deal with what comes our way.

Here are a couple of tips about how to manage your pain while your hurting.

1. Get support - whether that is through counselling, sharing with friends or family, just don't go through it alone.

2. Use the public services that are available. For example The Samaritans are not just people you call when you want to take your life, you can call them any time and talk about anything! Its free and totally confidential.

3. Give yourself time, accept that what you are experiencing is real and by taking one day at a time will help you to not feel so overwhelmed and fear about the future.

4. Spend time facing the pain interspersed with healthy distractions. To stay in a place of pain for hours and days on end is not going to help you feel balanced. Feel your pain and then spend some time letting yourself focus on something else.

5. Don't compare your pain or minimize it. We all have different problems and difficulties in life and they are relative to us. Don't discount your pain or judge others in theirs.

I am a counsellor working in Ashford Kent. For more details about what I offer please see my website for details

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