Last week while I was minding my own business, watching an episode of Friends (The one where they are up all night if your'e wondering),I heard a strange roaring noice outside. As I poked my head out the door I saw a huge very low hot air ballon, it was so close it looked like it was going to crash into the house!
Apart from being rather shocked, it got me thinking about if I would ever go in one? They seem so unsafe and precarious to me- hanging thousands of feet in the air while swinging in a wicker basket! I came to the conclusion that if I did go in one I would really need to let go and trust in order to enjoy the experience.
During this time there is so much fear and anxiety and it has reminded me that the more we fixate on a problem the more we move away from a place of peace. Our brains appear to be built to problem solve- but what happens where we find ourselves in a position that is outside of our control?
As a counsellor people often come to me with the hope that I am going to give them the tools to 'control' or 'fix' the problem, sometimes this is true in that I can offer exercises and behavioural modification methods such as CBT, but actually most of our time is spent sitting with the feelings, the irrational thoughts, the fear, the unknown. This may be very uncomfortable at times but it is often the only way to learn to tolerate our distress and then let it go. It's when we hold on tighter that we become fixated with the problem and stop noticing all the other gifts or goodness we have in our lives. We can so easily be fooled into believing that unless this problem is fixed right now that we cannot enjoy our lives.
The problem or situation may be hindering or at times hard and debilitating, but life does not have to be perfect for you to enjoy it. Let go, and trust the process.
This pandemic is truly awful and is something than none of us could have predicted, however I would encourage you to keep focusing on the good, let go of what you cannot control and watch your fear subside.
Counselling could help with your situation. Please get in touch either by phone, email or social media, I would be delighted to hear from you.